All I want

is to start college already. I am so scared about it. I hate not being able to sleep well and being nervous about it all the time. Ughhh. I just want to get the dreadful first day over with haha. I hope I can make it to my classes on time and what not. We will see. I'm super excited to move in though! I got a ton of cute stuff for my dorm.

Some towels and washcloths! Now I'll be squeaky clean.

The Olague Family made me this super warm blanket<3

a really cool desk lamp. It has so many compartments!

A GIANT cd case to hold all of my cds.

Mattress pad so my bed is a little bit more comfortable. (:

A big yellow bowl that I prefer to use as a hat.

Tall cups for mah draaanks!

Measuring cups and spoons just in case.

Some plates!

Another big measuring cup!

Dish towels.

Some bowls for my cereal and top ramen!

Silverware to eat with because I'm not a caveman.

And chip clips that also work as magnets!

And the best part is that most of the yellow kitchen ware was only a dollar at target! Plus it is yellow haha. No one will mistake my stuff for theirs. Unless of course theirs is yellow also. Pretty neat huh? I think so. Thanks Mom!

So bummed.

I definitely got a call today from H&M. I applied to work there near the beginning of summer and when do they call me saying I may have the job? Today... I MOVE IN A MONTH FOR COLLEGE! Ugh. I'm so disappointed because I would absolutely LOVE to work there. But of course there is absolutely no way I could make that work. I'd be so stressed out. So I turned it down. Natalie was very nice about it though. So that's good. Maybe I can apply to one in LA closer to my school. We'll see.

AHH I move out in 27 days! I am stoked. I can't wait to meet my roommate and the people in the suite. I can't wait to decorate. But to be completely honest, I am scared to leave my parents. As much as I say that I want to move out and that I hate them, I don't. I just get angry sometimes. Like everyone does.

Well I should go clean now. I have procrastinated enough today. Byee!

I'm desperate to know how you are.

So I haven't used this in a while. As you can tell, my look has changed a bit. I donated my hair to locks of love (:  But I am going to get back into the swing of things. I mean I have a tumblr [emilydarling.tumblr.com] and twitter [www.twitter.com/em_bem] and daily booth [dailybooth.com/emily_darling]. Not to mention my myspace and facebook. I just collect websites like it is going out of style (:

But I need to blog again. Like really blog. About nothing, about everything, just for me. Things have been hectic lately. It is starting to hit me hard that everything is going to change and way fast. All my friends are leaving for college with the few exceptions. It is going to be weird not seeing everyone everyday and that scares me. But for now I will just enjoy what is left of summer.

I finally got sushi today and i have been craving it for so long! Gah it was so good. haha. And it was nice to see Max, Jacqui, Michelle and everyone else who was at his dinner. (: But I'm sleepy so I will blog more tomorrow. Goodnight!

The way you love me (:

Hahahaha. Oh how I love this boy. I'm so glad he is still here.

Today was fairly good. Applied for a million jobs. Trying to stay optimistic.

All I can do for now is to dance and love.

I'm trying not to think about the bad.

Just trying to enjoy being young and stupid<3

Sincerly,

em[ily]<3

Make the most of today.

I hate being at home anymore.

I also wish I wasn't such an emotional mess.

I feel like crawling up into a hole and never coming out.

Today was one of the hardest days I will have to encounter.

):

I can take it. It will work out.

Can I be honest? It is getting harder and harder to trust people lately. I mean there was a thought in my mind that he only took me out because he wanted to tell all his friends how easy it was to get me to kiss him. But I thought maybe I was just over thinking things. I mean he isn't that kind of guy right? Then why did he go out searching for one of my best friends and kiss her? I guess I wasn't worth it. I wasn't worth anything to him. And the sad thing? I have always kind of liked him. I thought we had a good time. Well I did anyway. But whatever. If it is meant to be, it will happen. He is pretty amazing though. It all just keeps getting harder. It finally hit me today that I graduated. Nothing is going to be certain anymore. Nothing is safe. High school was so safe. Now I have the real world to get into. And quite frankly, I'm scared. No terrified. So many of my friends are leaving and I feel so lost. Everything is happening so fast. I constantly feel like I have to cry. I am an emotional mess. My grandma gave me a poem about me today and I started crying and I couldn't stop. ughh. 

On a lighter note things were going really well. I know it has been a while since I really updated. Where did I leave off. Well Prom was absolutely fantastic! I was the prom queen :D yay! and the people I was with made the evening so amazing. Gahh I had a wonderful time. I also made the cover of the school paper because of it and they picked an awful picture haha. But I don't care. What else? Bay and Dina did a great job during powder puff haha. I wish I could have played. Also! The thespain award show happened in between the dry spell of me not updating. That was such a great night. I got to go to BJ's with my greatest friend. I also won Best Supporting Actress, Best Senior, Best Actress, and Best Thespian. Overall I think my hard work payed off. Then after the show we played tag at Royal Oak. Jacqui, Tyler, Jessica, Greg, Chris, Michelle and myself. Tyler is so fast. It is ridiculous. Lately I have been having the time of my life (: Besides the whole boy set back. But summer is here and I am going to enjoy every second of it. Hopefully I can find a job haha. Wish me luck. I'm going to go watch a movie<3>

Sincerly, 

Em[ily]

Gah!

There is so much to update on. But not enough time right now. Let me just start of by saying that I am typing this on my brand new MacBook! Yay!! haha. I love love love it so much (: I promise to fully update later today but for now I am going to breakfast soon and I'm so upset that Maddi is leaving for Texas on Sunday. I feel like crying every time I think about it. That's all for now. Yesterday was a great day<3>

Love you!

Sincerly,

Em[ily]