You know what is really strange? I had the most amazing dream about him this morning. But whenever I have a dream about him, I am just grateful that he used to be in my life and then forget that the dream ever happened. I take it for what it is, a good dream. It seems to have been working for me. Until tonight. Of course, guess who texts me? He does. He just walks right back into my life after leaving for close to a year. I know that is not that long for someone to be gone but regardless. I fell for him, hard. And he left. And everything was going fine. But now he is back. I want to just push him away so badly, but I have missed him like crazy. This is bad. I know exactly what I am getting myself into. Heartbreak again. But I don't care. 5 minutes of happiness and just spending time with him is worth hurting for 5 months. I know it is stupid but he was such an amazing friend and I hate how everything ended. I hope this changes for the better. For now, I sit here waiting for him to realize how happy he really makes me. This whole thing is stupid. Sometimes I really do wish I was a girlbot. Then I wouldn't have to feel this way, I could just go about my business. Well, I guess this is what growing up is. And quite frankly, I don't want to grow up. Things are so much easier now. Growing up just seems scary. Yet, we all have to go through it. For me, I will just take whatever life throws at me and learn from it all.

Side note: I wanna be in a band and just be able to sing all the time. That seems like it would be wonderful.

Okay well I'm tired and I need to get up early to go running before it gets hot!
Good night. And sorry for the blabbering.

Until next time,
em[ily]