happiness?

Well my good mood lasted for a record time of 2 DAYS. Why is it that I can't seem to just be happy. I have so many things in my life I should be grateful for. This is ridiculous. I need a whole new mind set. Hopefully I can work on that and everything will be better. I wish I could find someone who truly understood how I felt AND cared enough to be there for me. I'm broken and I'll be the first to admit it. Good night.

I find it funny. So I'm going to get this off my chest really quick. So you know how people are suuuuper religious? Yes, that is fine because I used to be too. I still am somewhat religious but my views are constantly changing. I mean I have a lot of questions and I guess I am stuck in a state of doubt about the whole subject. I will be the first to admit that I am trying to find my way in this crazy, chaotic world. But how in the world can you say you are SO religious yet do some of the things you do that contradict your beliefs? I mean sure you say that you don't go to church anymore. But is that all it takes to justify your actions? Because you don't gather with people who have the same views on the subject as you once or twice a week that allows you to constantly have sex, drink your ass off, and just defy everything you used to believe? I just don't understand how your beliefs can change so quickly. Is it attention? or do you think that by doing this you think you will make more friends? And I know I am a HUGE contradiction to this whole post but I even confuse myself too. I don't even know what I am trying to say here but some people just really seem dumb. Sorry for this random rant. I'll post a real update later. It has been forever since I posted on here. Well I'm gonna go make dinner now. Until next time Blogger <3

em[ily]<3